Usual Monday, hold the tact.

I've said before that people who lay in the negative space make life more beautiful. Just keep that in the back of your mind.

I love Mondays that feel so normal you hardly know another has come. Sometimes they get lost in the business and others, well, they are as normal as they seem.

This morning, I tried to get up early and got up on time, as usual. I made some delicious tea and headed out the door with food in my bag to eat, as usual. I drove to school a few minutes early and parked in my usual row of the parking lot. Then I did something unusual. I read the a chapter of the Bible. Don't get me wrong, I'm not tauting this in a 'look at me' sort of way, just that it was something unusual about today.

The Who have a song called "Behind Blue Eyes". Limp Bizkit actually remade it and I'm little embarassed to admit that I like it better. This song was stuck in my head. I'm not sure now why this is important, but I'll move along nonetheless. (This is a post I've added a sentence or two whenever I've had the chance. I'm still not sure how to say all I think about this though)

Anyway, this was a day that my chapel band was playing, so I headed in through the back doors of Bauman Auditorium as usual on these days. I did my usual dinking around under the guise of "tuning" and, surprise, everything was usual. Thats when things became very unusual, awkward, and emotions from every part of the spectrum flooded me; except good ones. I was informed with very little tact, that a former student had passed away the previous night in a car accident. What a shock. I guess its the same feeling as finding out that anyone has passed away because of some freak thing. Simply shock. He was actually one of the first people who got me to play bass guitar at George Fox, and I would see him from time to time at Chapters, one of my favorite places in the whole world. For a couple weeks, we seemed to bump into each other everywhere; Fred Meyer, Chapters, the gym, among others. But now he was gone. It wasn't even the sadness that I first felt, it was the fact that we had been told with such haste it was almost as if it had been said in passing. Sort of like when you see someone you kind of know and to greet you they say, "Hey, what's up?" but keep on walking. It so... unsatisfying.

To make things worse, I later found out more details about the death. The disturbing part was that it was more than a car accident. It was sort of like one of my worst nightmares had been manifested for someone else. From my understanding, he and his wife were driving and slipped off the road. They were fine, but their car got stuck so he walked up to the road. Then another car came over the same hill and struck him. He died instantly, but the worst part is that the driver of the other car was also a former student, and they were friends. How terrible. I have no idea what to do with things like this. He was such a nice guy, always friendly and inviting- always smiling. That's all I suppose.

GirI in the corner.

She has this austere look about her. I can tell she is deep in thought, the way she looks around and then back at her book or computer. She's actually leaving right now. Carefully putting on her socks, she still thoughtfully looks about while paying careful attention to how she ties her shoes. I wonder what she's thinking. Does she know she is beautiful? Does she want to 'grow up' and be a wife, a mother, a teacher, a great friend, a politician, a musician, a writer? She's gone now, but I could see her walk past the window I have found suitable to study next to. She looks at the ground while she walks. Is she insecure or is she admiring something on the ground or is she still deep in thought as before? Maybe she needs somebody. Maybe she doesn't need anybody.